Jessy Spino was born 100 years ago, shortly after the Titanic sank.

A veteran of bare horseback riding, she spends her retirement sewing, and writing genre-straddling songs. Described as greedy, she will sometimes leave cookies on her windowsill for wandering children.

Spino's accomplishments include speed reading, holistic body modification, founding the band Girl Fry, and on one occasion visiting three countries.

She denies editing her own Wikipedia page.

Alexandria Calderon is Girl Fry's resident bassist. In January 2013 she came in carrying recruitment propaganda, and thus received a discount on her entrance exam fees. Having passed with flying colors, it says on her chart that she draws and teaches 3D printing to minors (a mere cover for her superhero/toymaking/rockstar persona).

Alex is the only member of Girl Fry ever to achieve consecutive push-ups.